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Questioning Beliefs Chapter 1

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Title: Questioning Beliefs
Author: Maqeurious
Game: Dragon Age 2
Characters: F!Hawke/Sebastian







                   

Not all as it seems...





The sun was already beginning to sink behind the hills to the west, casting it's soothing red and gold glow across the steadily darkening sky when Rin Casca finally found him.  As she stumbled down the winding path cut into the side of the river bank, her little feet threatened to trip her up at every step.  She bit her lower lip and chewed, a terrible habit she had developed in her short six years of life whenever she needed to concentrate.  Carefully placing one foot in front of the other she exhaled in relief as the worn dirt path turned into even ground and the old wooden bridge that spanned the tributary which snaked through her small village.  It was only one of the many waterways that veered of the Minanter River and fed the numerous small hamlets found between the larger cities of Starkhaven and Nevarra.

Rin frowned as she hitched up her dress to inspect the now dirty hem.  Running her fingers across the once beautiful lace, she contemplated the day she received it.  Her fifth birthday if she wasn't mistaken, and the best present she had ever been given by her mother.  Rins tiny brow crinkled, that was the last time she saw her before the Templars came and took her away.  And then the circle at Kirkwall was destroyed, and her mother was gone forever.

Before letting herself sink deep into the still fresh wound of being motherless, she shook the memory off and let the dress fall back into place at her ankles and brought the envelope she had concealed in her other hand towards her face to study it.  It was certainly a fine looking piece of stationary, with gold gilded edges and a bright red wax seal stamped with an emblem she didn't recognize.  How her father knew who it was for, she had no idea.  Either way, she hoped whatever message it held was worth the time and trouble it was going to take for her to scrub her garment.  It might not be flash or pretty anymore, but it was the only true dress she owned.

Picking up her pace Rin crossed the bridge and headed into the fields, following the narrow paths between rows of wheat and corn until she came up behind him.  He had been out here almost the whole day only returning to the house for lunch and a small afternoon snack.  

It had been six months since her father found the young man.  Lying half dead on the side of the road just outside of Cumberland clutching an empty coin purse and reeking of alcohol.  When he brought the vagrant home her father told her that 'the Maker has a purpose for us all, even the most downtrodden and seemingly hopeless.'  She remembered being confused and angered by those words.  If the Maker had a purpose for everyone, then why did He deem it necessary to take her mother from her?

After sobering and cleaning him up, her father offered the young man a job on the farm in return for the spare room in their small house.  But she often wondered about the real reason why he let the stranger stay.  Was it pity, or something else all together?  Since mothers death, her fathers loneliness wasn't lost on her.

But the stranger, whose name was Lyon she would later find, turned out to be not just an excellent helper around the house and worker on her fathers large farm, but was also very kind.  Thus, Rin found herself charmed by Lyon and took a liking to him very quickly.  And as the days went by, he became like family.  

There was however, only one rule her father asked of her, and that was not to press  Lyon about his past.  'When he's ready to talk, he will,' he told her one day, 'until then, let's do our best and make him feel welcome.'  But it was hard for her to not pry when she so often caught him with a far off look on his weathered face that seemed so sad, all she wanted to do was fix what ever troubled him.

And that was how she found him now, leaning against his hoe with a melancholy look etched into his features and staring at the dusky sky.  Every time she saw those doleful blue eyes, Rins heart broke just a tiny bit more.

"Lyon," she said, hesitant to break the silence, "are you OK?"

Coming out of his daze Lyon jumped at the sudden interruption.  Surprised that the child had managed to sneak up on him without knowing, he brushed it aside and shot the girl a smile and  warm greeting.

"Ah, Little Rin," he chimed using his nickname for her then kneeling down to meet her face to face, "what in the Makers name are you doing out here by yourself at this hour?"

He ruffled the child's hair and laughed as Rin halfheartedly tried to shake him off, cooing at him to stop.  "I know, I know.  You're a big girl," he added cheekily.

"Father asked me to fetch you," she told him, only slightly annoyed at her now unkempt hair, "supper is almost ready."

"Fantastic!  I'm starving."  Raising to his feet Lyon gathered his belongings, packing into his satchel the spare seeds and seedlings from the days work along the wheat belt.  Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Rin staring intently at him and the trinket dangling freely from his neck.

"You like it huh?" he asked, startling the small girl.

"It's very pretty Lyon.  What is it?"

Holding the locket between his fingers, he smiled sadly.  "It's... it's nothing important, really."

He let the locket fall back against his chest and tucked it under his shirt.  Heaving his satchel over his shoulder he noticed the dejected look on the sweet girls face and sighed.  Defeated, Lyon knelt before her again and took the locket out so she could see it properly.

"It's my... good luck charm," he told her as she reached out to touch it.

"A good luck charm?  What's that?"

"Well, whenever I feel sad I just hold it in my hand, close my eyes and take a deep breath."  He took the locket from her and showed her what he meant.  Feeling the warmth of the metal pressed hard against his palm brought a mixture of pain and resentment crashing down around him,  something that was getting harder and harder to shake it off these days.  "It always helps me feel... peaceful.  Like all of the bad things in the world just... melt away – if only for a moment at least."

As he opened his eyes he met the soft brown orbs of his little friend and smiled.  He hated lying to her, but it was better then the truth.  There was no need to scare a six year old.  He couldn't tell her that when he looked at the locket all he could think of was betrayal and loss – and death.

Happy that Rin had excepted his meager explanation, he once again tucked the locket away and stood when he finally noticed the item in Rins hand.

"What have you got there, my dear?"

"Huh?  Oh..," she handed the envelope to Lyon and smiled, "father said to give this to you.  A messenger dropped it off just now and father says it's for you."

Lyon took the letter and examined it, frowning at the lack of not only a recipient name, but it also had no name of the sender.

"I don't even know how father knows the letter is for you.  There's not even a name on it.."

"Yes, I can see.." he said, his voice trailing off.  As he turned the envelope over the bright red seal jumped out at him.  His blood froze in his veins.  He knew that insignia.

"We should get back Lyon, supper should be on the table by now..."

He could hardly hear the words coming from Rin.  His attention was solely on the envelope as he tore it open and pulled out the single sheet of paper.  His fingers began to shake as he unfolded it.  He didn't need to read who it was from.  He knew the handwriting well.  But he only got a few sentences in when he felt his life take a sudden and sharp turn.

"I hear you tried searching for me.  If it is revenge you desire then I invite you to come and seek it, Sebastian..."

The prince stopped breathing.

Finally.  She had finally revealed herself.  

"Hawke...."


                               

o.O.o






Hawke watched in horror as the sky filled with blazing red lights and a thunderous roar so loud she thought the sky itself was being rent in two, as the Chantry exploded before her very eyes.   Screaming and crying erupted all around her, but all she could do was stare and hope this was all a dream.  A very bad dream.

"Anders!  What.. have you done?!"  She turned to the mage and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him with fervor.  "Anders.. you didn't!"

"Elthina NO!  Maker NO!!"  Sebastian screamed beside her, falling to his knees in total disbelief.  "She was your most faithful.  Your most beloved.  Why.. why didn't she listen to me!?"

"I removed the chance of compromise," Anders tried to explain,  "because there can be  no compromise."

Hawke's grip on him tightened.  She couldn't believe what she was hearing.  Taking his face in her hand, she brought the mages eyes to hers.  She had to see them, hoping beyond hope that it was the Spirit that looked back at her.  But it wasn't.  It was Anders.  HER Anders, through and through.

Knight Commander Meredith stepped forward, her presence ominous and grim.  The look on her face gave them nothing but absolute stoic grace.  Except for her eyes.  Hawke had never seen such intensity.  "The grand cleric has been slain by magic, the chantry destroyed.  As Knight Commander of Kirkwall, I hereby invoke the Right of Annulment.  Every mage in the circle is to be executed – immediately!"  

"The circle didn't even do this!" Orsino screamed, pushing forward to face Meredith toe to toe  "Hawke, please!  You can't let her do this!  Help us stop this madness!"

"And I demand you stand with us, Hawke!" Meredith countered, just as fiery,  "Even you must see that this outrage cannot be tolerated!"

Sebastian was gripping his bow so tight, Hawke noticed small rivulets of blood trickle through his fingers.  "Why are we debating the Right of Annulment when the monster who did this is right here?!  I swear to you, I will KILL him!"  

Hawke felt the pressure of their stares on her.  Agreeing with one meant disagreeing with another.  But no matter who she chose the only inevitability was that more people were going to die.  How could she in all good conscience be the one to condemn these people.  Who was she to do it, and who were they to ask it of her!

"It can't be stopped now," Anders continued, his voice quiet.  Passive. "This is how it has to be."

"Was that... why you wanted me to distract the grand cleric?"  She asked, finally putting the last piece of the puzzle together.

Sebastian shot an angered glance at the champion and sneered, "Hawke?  You were.. part of this?!"

But she returned the stare, just as steely in a warning to quieten before Anders addressed her again.

"If you knew what I was doing, you would have felt honor-bound to stop me.  I couldn't take that chance.  The circle is an injustice, in many places beyond Kirkwall.  The world needs to see!"

"Anders.. you killed them!  How could you?!  The grand cleric, the mages!  The mages you were trying to help!  Their blood is on your hands!"

"I know.."

"And you tricked me,  used me to help you do this!"

"I know.  But it's happened, Marian.  You have to choose."

Choose?!  How could she choose between them?  All of them?  She had spent her entire life protecting an apostate and Maker forbid, even fallen in love with one.  But this?  This was bigger then she even she could imagine.  This was bigger then... love.  It had to be.

"I.. I can't stand with you on this.. Anders.  Not now."  Her heart sank as the words left her mouth, settling deep into her stomach like a ton of bricks.  She took a step back from the mage, the space between them turning into an enormous void there was no coming back from.

"Your first act must be to execute this.. traitor!"  Sebastian spat, pointing his rage at Anders before the First Enchanter stepped in between them and tugged at Hawke's arm guard.

"NO!  Think carefully Champion, this is not justice!" he begged, his eyes pleading with her.

"I.. I'm not defending you, Orsino!  I can't!"

"Are you sure about this?" Merrill interjected, her large eyes a mixture of confusion and doubt,  "you know she's going to murder people whose only crime was being born a mage.  Think of Bethany!  Your own sister!"

The mention of her apostate turned Grey Warden sister stirred a deep anger in Hawke.  She caught the young elf by the arm and pulled.

"Don't you dare Merrill!!" she screamed,  "you have no right to speak to me of such things!  I might disagree with the First Enchanter, but I loathe blood mages all the more!  Innocent people will be hurt in the fighting.  We have to make this as quick and painless as possible."  She let Merrill go and watched as the small girl winced and retreated.  She couldn't feel sorry for her right now.  "I think we all agree that nobody wants mages and templars fighting in the streets!  All we can do now is keep casualties to a minimum."

"Was it him?" she asked, her attention on Anders again, "did this spirit tell you to do this?"

Anders refused to look at her, his gaze fixed on the ground at his feet.  "No.  When we merged, he ceased to be.  We are one now.  I can no more ignore the injustice of the circle than he could."

"I.. I might have understood if you'd only told me!"

Sebastian almost choked on his rage, "Hawke, you condone this!?  The brutal death of an innocent woman of faith?  Someone you knew!  Who trusted you!"

"No.. I didn't say that Sebastian," she growled, her patience at his continued interruption finally reaching  the last straw,  "and I swear to the Maker if you don't shut your mouth you'll regret it!"

"I wanted to tell you," the mage intervened, "but what if you stopped me?  Or worse, what if you wanted to help!?  I couldn't let you do that!  I.. I love you too much to put that on you."

"And yet you did anyway, Anders," she countered, "you betrayed my trust."

"I know, and that is the only thing I will ever regret."  He stepped into her again, careful not to get too close and cupped her cheek.  She didn't turn from him, as much as she wanted too.  "The world needs to see this Marian.  Then we can all stop pretending that the circle is a solution!  And if I pay for that with my life.. then I pay.  Perhaps then, justice would at least be free."

Her hand was on her dagger before she even realized.  A sick feeling swirled in her gut  and she forced down the bile that threatened to come forth.  How many times had she killed?  How many people had she sent to the Maker?  Hundreds?  Tens of hundreds?  Too many to count.  But how many of those men and women did she care about?  Did she love?  

It wasn't until the mage swept his thumb across her cheek that she realized she was crying.  Staring into his eyes, Hawke saw the truth in his words.  But it would not be enough.  It would never be enough.  "Anders.. you.. have forced my hand.  I can't let this go, you know that!  You.. you have to pay for what you've done."

And then when it couldn't get any easier,  he made it a lot worse.  He smiled, a single tear rolled down his cheek and hung in the stubble of his chin,  reminding her of the Anders from 'before'.  The Anders she'd spent countless nights with, wrapped in his arms and dreaming of a future that would now never come.  The man she'd allowed herself to fall in love with, despite his flaws.  And hers.

"I know," he said softly, bringing her face to his, "and I am willing to let it be.  For what it's worth, I'm glad it's you.  It was nice to be happy... for a while at least.   I just want you to know that when I said I loved you, I meant it with all my heart."  Then his mouth found hers  in a small intimate kiss that tasted of their mixed tears and sorrow – and loss.

"I love you too Anders," she whispered against his lips,  " and...... I'm sorry..."

Her knife slid easily into his midsection and he slumped against her,  warm blood soaking her hand.

She held him until the end.  Until his chest ceased to move and his cheeks drained of color.  And when his eyes finally slid shut, Hawke died with him.





Marian Hawke woke with a start.  She was still sitting in the darkest corner of the tavern, with a warm mug of ale that now harbored the floating bodies of several small insects.   Her dirty honey blonde hair was matted against the side of her face and thick with tears.  

She had drifted off at this table for the past three nights when the room she'd rented upstairs showed very distinct signs of mice – or rats.  Not that she could sleep properly anyway.  The same old dream that haunted her every night for the past eight months just wouldn't let her be, and sleep passed her by more and more each day.  And it showed on her face.  Her once vivacious, youthful looks were now sallow and pallid.  Eyes that once sparked with life and adventure, were now dark and wan.  

Life had been over for her for a long time.  But all of that was about to change.

She'd tried for months to end it.  Hoping and wishing that someone, somewhere would give her the death that she so longed for.  Carrying the burden; the memory, of killing the only thing in her life that held any meaning had become too much.  But every time the wire would cut too close and death in all it's sweet repose was within her grasp, something would snap and she'd fight to come back.

But not this time.  She'd finally figured out just what it was she was doing wrong.  The men and women she gave herself over to were common thugs.  They had no reason for her death, bar the spare coins in her purse or flesh beneath her clothes.  No, they were nothing.

Then word reached her about Sebastian settling down in a farming village after giving up his own search for her.   Her once trusted ally and friend from a time she'd sooner forget.  The words he spoke that fateful day, the anger and need for revenge in his eyes.  It was too perfect.  She had aided in the death of the grand cleric.  Elthina's blood stained her hands just as much as they did Anders's.  All she had to do now was wait.  

Which turned out to be not long at all.  For when Hawke raised her head to pull her cowl lower over her face, the tavern door opened and Sebastian Vael, the exiled prince of Starkhaven walked in and spotted her.
Months after the terrible events at Kirkwall, and the destruction of the Chantry and the Circle; Hawke disappeared.

Disgusted at herself for killing Anders and on a path of destruction of her own, her only hope for death lies in the hands of her former companion, Sebastian.

But Sebastian is a changed man too. With his faith in the Maker shaken and his life in the Chantry over, he is given the chance he has longed for since losing all he had.

Hawke wants death, and it's up to him to deliver.



My own take on the ending events of the awesome game, Dragon Age 2. F!Hawke/Sebastian pairing. Let's see how it's recieved before I start writing more :D

Enjoy :D

Questioning Beliefs Chapter 1 [link] Not All As It Seems
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 2 [link] And We Come Together
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 3 [link] Face To Face
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 4 [link] Give Me Mercy
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 5 [link] Stolen Kiss
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 6 [link] Accepting Sin
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 7 [link] The Guilt Of Pleasure
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 8 [link] Requited
Questioning Beliefs Chapter 9 [link] A Place for Everyone
© 2011 - 2024 maqeurious
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Zara-Arletis's avatar
I really wanted the option to seduce Seb, but no . . . he offers only a chaste marriage . . . maybe he'll show up in DA3 with more options ^_^

Great story so far!